So, as I mentioned in my previous post, our sex life has gotten a little predicatable lately. I decided it might be time to pull out the old sex deck.
About 10 years ago, I purchased a deck of cards that outlined various sexual positions. I know they now make apps for that, but I’m afraid if I install such an app on my iPhone, it will also accidentally appear on my 11-year-old’s device, which is also connected to the same Apple ID. I’d rather not explain the meaning of the word “tantric” to him, so I stick with old school. This does require having a hiding place for the cards. I think I need to have a box for sex-related things that I’m going to label, “If I’m dead, don’t look inside this box. Trust me. Just throw it out. You don’t want to know.” It will save whichever relative that happens to be packing up my belongings from serious psychological trauma.
The Sex Deck is kind of like a fun game: I can fan out the deck of cards and say, “Honey, pick a card! Any card!” The problem is that some of these positions are kind of ridiculous. For instance, one position actually involves a handstand against the wall. And almost none of them are advantageous from the female’s perspective. Only about two of them would allow for any significant clitoral stimulation. The rest are like, “slap her ass and stick it to her.”
Looking through the cards is entertaining, nevertheless, even if you don’t trust fate enough to randomly select one. They are pretty pornographic, after all, with air-brushed models enacting the sex positions with facial expressions of ecstasy. Examining pictures of naked people appearing to have so much fun is actually pretty inspiring.
My favorite is “The Woodcutter.”
The Frisky Housewife 